If anyone wants to buy me some presents here are some ideas

http://www.jlist.com/SEARCH/R/groin/1/

http://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.html

The internet fucken cracks me up! HAHA!

Well my week long vacation is almost at an end. I only fell down the stairs once this week! So i’ve had the week off and instead of doing a bunch of shit i really needed to do i ended up sleeping a bunch an fucking around.

I discovered the dishwasher. So cool! You put dishes in and after an hour or so they are clean! I guess your not suppose to put regular dish soap in them though. I had suds all over the kitchen. It was like a fucken sitcom.. except the suds were only about 3 inches deep instead of 4 feet deep.

The dishwasher has a small leak. I guess thats why we don’t use it. I soaked the entire kitchen. Not once but 4 times this week. It was fun playing with the dishwasher and i didn’t mind wipeing up the water. Well I ended up wrecking a bunch of the flooring.

This leads me to explain something else. You see, I’m a wrecker. No matter what… i wreck shit.. All the time. It’s usually other people stuff too. It really sucks and i really don’t want to be a “wrecker” but i just am. So joanne is pissed about the floor being wrecked.

The next day she caught me riding scooter on her treadmill. It was really fucken fun and i didn’t even wreck it. I was up to about 4 MPH, and i was swerving around like a i was hauling ass down a hill. She freaked so i had to stop. I guess I’m not allowed to do that anymore.

So today while i was really board i cut my hair. I think its funny.

Rain, no money and no driving is driving me crazy.. You can only play drums for so many hours of the day.

When I was a little boy I hated Christmas for a few reasons. One of them was because my uncle Mike and uncle Richard use to torture me. They use to pin me down and tickle me till I couldn?t breath. Then to make matters worse they would grab the nutcracker and bite my fingers with it really hard.

I would scream at the top of my lungs while being bitten all over my body by the little wooden solder.

To this day I am terrified by nutcrackers.

Well I have managed to not see one nutcracker all season. That?s the best present of all!

Why God Why? I guess I’m bored at the store so I look at it. I checked out the thing about Chad Degroot written by Dave Freimuth. The last one of the 5 facts you didn’t know about Chad I didn’t know either.

Apparently Chad beat me and Taj for the year end title at Rampage. Funny that’s not how I remember it. He even had the year wrong. It was November of 1991

Maybe this picture will jog daves memory HAHA!

TV has reached a new level of stupidity. MTV has this show called “Rich Girls” and the girls on there are fucking idiots. And I’m a fucken idiot for watching it. If you haven’t seen it don’t. you’ll get sucked in, just like the fucking real world.

At my work they have these toilet seats that sit off the bowl about 4 inches. Compared to the one at my house that sits about 1 inch off.

So i sit down to take a crap at work before i go home. I take some reading material. As i’m reading and crapping i realize that i don’t hear my pee hitting the water even though i am peeing. I look down and i had missed the bowl and pissed all over the back of my pants as well as inside them all over my fucken underwear!

I’m not just talking about a few squirts but like an entire blatter full. My pants were soaked! So i did what anyone else would do. I sucked it up, put a smile on my face and pulled my damn pants up.

Man pee sure gets cold fast. What a bitch!

Ok well i have gotten a few e-mails and calls about this one.

#1 no I did not get married. I did the marrying.
#2 I am an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. My good friend Peter Roberts got ordained about a month before he died. He was really excited about it and it brought him allot of happiness right before his death. On the 5th anniversary of his death i got ordained as sort of an homage to him.
#3 The people i married were my boss and his girlfriend.

In other news, i have been recording allot. (what else is new) Me and Lew recorded some tracks that i think are pretty good. Were gonna try to get Taj to track so bass.
I started re-tracking the old Hated Youth songs. They are sounding pretty good.

If you get DIG magazine you might see a mug shot of me and a sneak peak into my trick book. Look now cuz its the only look you’ll get. Speaking of tricks Matt berringer has an ad of him doing the Hardflip on the trampoline bike. I need to get on pulling that.

I’ll prob post some mp3s this week!

Well its done. I have preformed my first wedding. It went pretty smoothly. I had the stuff i was gonna say all ready and we met up at the park where it was gonna go down.

We start the ceremony, I’m kinda stressing that i don’t fuck up reading the words. The bride starts to tear up.. I start to really stress, I wasn’t prepared for that. I totally forgot that happens. So i was a little thrown. The next thing i know is the groom starts to tear up. Fuck! Then i start to feel the tears coming! Good god!

I kept it together and ended up not tearing HAHA!

We finished the ceremony and filled out the paper work. I remember that really stressing me out. I thought for sure i was gonna spell something wrong, but i didn’t. Heres a pic of me doing the officiating.

Well as of 15 minutes ago i have preformed my first wedding. It pretty much went off without a hitch. I’ll write more and post some pics later.

Today driving home from work (with out a license mind you) I saw a super bad wreck. I was about 6 cars behind it. I’m just driving along and all the sudden I hear a big bag.. I see a bunch of smoke and a Chevy s10 pickup about 5 feet off the ground. I swerved to get out of the way and pulled over to the side of the road. About 4 cars were involved. The front ends of the cars were totally gone! A bunch of people pulled over to help and I thought about helping but after my really bad accident with a drunk driver 10 years ago accident scenes really freak me out. So I got the fuck outta there.

So I come home and all is well. At about 9 pm I go outside and notice glass next to my car. That’s right
for the second time in 6 months my car has been broken into outside of my house. The funny thing is I live in a pretty nice neighborhood… At least I think so.

They smashed out the passenger side window and took my stereo. With my insurance deductible the insurance company will not be paying out of pocket… I will. $300.00! Merry Christmas to me!

Here’s a pic of the damage. Here’s another pic of out neighbor hood watch sigh literally 4 feet from my car. So much for those signs meaning any thing, to the crooks or my bitch ass neighbors.