My friends Jennifer and Jarred got married today. I went to the wedding and heard my friend John say “Leave it up to Jamie to always be more inappropriately dressed than me.”

I just wore what i always wear. Shorts, some chucks and a T1 shirt. They invited Jamie and thats what there gonna get. This is what i wear to work this is what i wear when i play shows this is what i wear when i ride. Fuck it.

Jenn and Jared are awesome, and didn’t care. I did hear some grumbles from a few people though. Oh well.

I think the photo of me dancing with the bride in a T1 shirt while all the other people in the photo are in suits is pretty funny. What can i say.. I gotta be me

Today when i was coming home i drove past an animal hospital. I glanced at the building for a sec. When i looked back at the road i noticed a dead cat in the center of the road.

Oh the irony.

I haven’t posted in awhile so i thought i would continue random jamie facts for ya.

Not only do i hate veggies, seafood, and pork but i also hate the taste of water! I think the Brita cleaned water and my tap water is fucken nasty. The only good tap water i ever had was at Aaron Zadons house in 1989. Aquafina, Desante all that filtered stuff has a plastic after taste to me. The only water i can stand is spring water.

For years i would only take my socks off to take a shower. Other than that they were always on. The side effect of that is i have no hair growth on my ankles and when i take my socks off, my feet and ankles are so white that i look like i am still wearing socks.

Every year that i have dressed up for halloween i have been Gene Simmions, with 2 exceptions. When i was 4 my babysitter dressed me up as Peter Chris and when i was about 8 i went as Boba Fett.

I wrote a thing in the new DIG for Caleb Rucker. Some of what i wrote got edited out for one reason or another. Probably space constraints… i don’t know. But now when i read it i think it sounds a little weird. So heres the unedited version for your reading pleasure.

————————–

I don’t know Caleb to well, so when I was asked to write something about him
I realized all the other writers would tell you the same thing. Caleb is a
nice kid, he’s super rad, and he wears tight pants, bla bla bla.

So I thought I would try to fill you in on a not so obvious fact about
Caleb. His mom is smoken hot!
She’s in her 40’s and has a pretty rocken body. I would totally put it to
Caleb’s mom.

I think that would be pretty fun and the best part is I would make Caleb
call me dad. Caleb might be younger than me and way radder but I would just
ground his ass and make him do the dishes.

Heres some fun little haiku poems for ya.

caleb’s mom’s a milf
his girlfriend is a cougar
he can’t beat me up

pants are very tight
punk spikes are very pokie
caleb falls a bunch

riding is so fun
my bike is a piece of junk
i like popcicles

If Calebs mom’s boyfriend is reading this.. I’m just joking. (That guy could
kick my ass with one hand) If Calebs mom is reading this blow up my cel
503-231-1746

Jamie McParland

The show at the Twilight was awesome! We had a great turn out, and after a few fuck ups on my part at the beginning it went really well and every one had a blast.

If you’ve seen us before your aware of the Hated Youth curse.. Basically something goes really wrong at every show. This is why i bring 3 guitars.

So in true hated youth fashion ryan drops the bass cab and brakes the speaker jack off 15 minutes before were suppose to be at the gig.

John Guffey came to our rescue once again and let us barrow his bass rig. Not to mention was cool enough to let us use his van and help us load gear. Thanks John!

Check out www.hatedyouth.com for pics of the show.

Well i signed up for the google ads thing. To put ads on the site so when i click on them i can make a few pennies.

Well my site was declined because of “Inappropriate language”

Here was my reply to their letter:

Dear Google Team,

You don’t like the language on my site? Well fuck you, suck my dick and eat my ass you cock suckers. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!

Thanks for your quick response you punk bitches, i’ll shit on your fucking keyboard.

Rev. Jamie McParland
www.jamiemcparland.com

I went and saw Napoleon Dynamite tonight. It was pretty good. What’s with the hipster kids being obsessed with nerds. Trust me.. being a geek in school was not fun.

Speaking of which i got a message through that classmates website. This girl i must have known in elementary school sent me a message. She said what she really remembers about me was i wore ninja boots to school.

It’s so weird to think that that’s where her knowledge of me ends. She know nothing about Jamie the musician, the bmxer, the smartass, the smoker.

All she knows is the kid that use to cut his own hair, wear white elephant bell bottoms with ninja boots and a XXL sticks concert t-shirt to 6th grade.

Maybe i should not write her back. Maybe i should just leave her with that image of me. The geeky kid uncomfortable in his own skin. The kid that was so depressed about his situation growing up he tried to hang himself on his 9th birthday.

The kid that locked the door to his room and smashed his head into his dresser until he passed out.

The kid that use to look in the mirror and scratch at his face trying to tear it off because he thought he was so ugly.

My self image was so poor growing up.. The funny thing is now i look back at pictures of myself and i think i was a cute kid.

But other kids are fucking evil. It’s amazing to remember how i felt back then. Those kids crushed my sprit.

Well things have changed for sure.. I don’t feel that way anymore. Man being a little kid fucken sucked. I wouldn’t trade where I’m at now for anything.

Thank god for the 2 things that straightened my life out. BMX and Black Flag.

Oh yea… FYI Doug Muller if your out there I’m still gonna find you and fucking kick your ass.

Sorry for the downer posting.. Sometimes it’s like that.

On an up note were playing tomorrow. At the twilight. Should be a good time. You should all come out if you can. It’s the first full hated youth set in over 5 years!

Just a random fact.

As of today it has been 8089 days since i last ate an orange. My last orange was consumed on May 2nd 1982.

Fuck oranges!

My friend dave that works at FBM was gonna do some work on my bike. So it was in NY for awhile. Anyway dave sent my bike back today. The box he sent it in was packed with all this fucken shredded paper. The paper was about 1/4 wide and about an inch long. Their must have been a million of that scrap paper in there.

It made the hugest mess! It totally filled my garbage can. HAHA! What a fucker.

We had a fun little party at my work today. It was like an end of year barbecue. Anyway we played some games and threw some water balloons, and ate a bunch of burgers.

So we ended up having a water mellon seed spitting contest. All the people walked up and spit their seed. It was pathetic. I got in the end of the line. When it was my turn i hocked up a lugie, wrapped the seed up in it and spit it twice as far as anyone else.

Some people complained that it was cheating. Fuck that… They just weren’t smart enough to use the ole lung cookie. So i ended up winning this horrible lawn chair.

Fuck it.. i’ll set it up in my drive way and hassle the indy rockers as they walk by with their Pabst and organic bananas.