Ryan has been staying with me for a few weeks and it’s been awesome. It’s a little weird, maybe it’s just him. The other day when i came home he was making a pizza. Like actually making it… fucken weird.

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When I was a little boy I moved around a lot. So much that I remember going to one school for one day. I remember moving a few times in the middle of the night. Leaving all my toys behind. It really fucken sucked.

The only place that ever felt like home to me was my grandmas. Her back yard, with the giant tree, the brown carpet in the living room so thick and cushy that I can still feel the fiber strands between my toes if I think about it.

It was so comforting to be there.. Even in the middle of the day I could sleep on the floor of the living room. I could finally relax. No one chaseing me home to beat me up, no neighbors selling drugs, always food to eat and fun things to do. It was the best place on earth.

I never felt that way anywhere else… That is until I moved to Clinton St.

My house is in this artsy little neighborhood in Portland called Richmond on Clinton St. Every time I go someplace in Portland and someone asks for my address they always say “Oh that’s such a nice neighborhood!” And their right.

On any given day a impromptu marching band will be walking up my street. It’s so funny. I think some people just get together and start walking up the street playing instruments, I’ve seen people run out of their house with a drum or some sort of horn and join them as they march down the block.

Every fall we have a puppy parade down my block and it’s exactly what you think it is.

Clinton St. is home to DOTs bar, the old man bar, and the Clinton St. Theater. Hell I just went and watched a documentary about the band “The Minutemen” there 2 nights ago. 6 blocks down my street.

One of my favorite things in the world to do is set up my chair in the yard and watch the dozens and dozens of people walk, or ride by my house going to Wild Oats (a health food store a block from my house) I’ll sit in the chair surfing the web, smoking and drinking a coke. It’s so relaxing to me.

I love this neighborhood. It’s seriously not only the nicest and best places I’ve ever lived it’s the best I’ve ever even visited.

Then there’s the house. My house is the best! It’s HUGE! 3 bedrooms and we only use one. So we’re not cramped at all. I have a studio in the basement where I can play as loud as I want 24 hours a day. We even have a white rose bush in the front yard and when I open the window it sometimes creeps in to the house a bit.

Granted the house is in pretty rough condition but that’s ok. So am i. I love this house and our neighborhood so much. I’ve lived here longer than anyplace I’ve ever lived in my life.

My whole life I spent looking for a home.. I had finally found one.

After 2205 days or a little over 6 years I am leaving Clinton St. Things change and that’s a part of life I guess. I’m really gonna miss you house… my home. I’ll drive by from time to time, I hope the next people that get to live here love you as much as I did.

So a new search begins… But I won’t be leaving any toys this time.

For about the past year i have been randomly signing my credit card receipts with the name “Not ME” or “Mr T” or just with an “X”

I’ve done it at least a hundred times. On one occasion when i had as asshole clerk i signed it “Fuck You”

Only once was i ever questioned. It was at a burger king when i signed with the X. The cashier complained that an X wasn’t my signature. I told her it was and she could check the back of my drivers license.

Anyway i came across this today. This guy has taken this to an all new level i never even thought of! Brilliant!

http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/