So Sheryl Crow had breast cancer… her ex boyfriend had testicle cancer… Am i the only person that sees this?

I bet she got it from him titty fucking her?

On a side note Mr. Ferley from Threes Company died. Fucking people dying left and right.

how exactly is beating the crap out of 12 year old kids stopping terrorism. I got a feeling when these kids grow up they are NOT gonna be fans of us and the british government.

http://www.break.com/index/britishiraq12.html

I saw a lesbian buying a douche at safeway the other day… It cracked me up. Maybe i don’t know much about women’s privates. But i thought Douches were for cleaning cum out of your vagina. I’ve been told since that that’s not the case. Oh well it was funny for a little while anyway.

When i was in cali last week i went to murr woods. It’s a beautiful national park across the golden gate bridge in SF.

While in the park i looked down and saw a porno DVD laying next to a plastic bag. In the bag were 5 more porn DVDs and a used tissue. The used tissue actually almost made me puke but it was to fucken funny for me to find porn in the woods again at the age of 31.

For a better understanding of why this is funny look for my story in Terrible One zine 8. It will make a lot more sense.

Some drunks kicked over my garbage can tonight. I ran outside in my socks and boxers (what else) to see what was going on. I ran down to the street and saw the can laying on it’s side. I looked and about 1/2 a block away were 4 people.

I grabbed the can and sprinted uphill towards them. When i was close enough i threw the can and hit this guy in the back. He turned around and i said “What the fuck are you thinking kicking over my garbage cans?” Then i realized maybe 2 drunk guys could beat me up seeing as i was only wearing socks and had just run uphill with a garbage can.

The guy backed down and said he didn’t do it even though i would think if he actually hadn’t he would have fussed more about me hitting him with a garbage can in the back.

My friend Lena sent me an old photo she had of me. I think I’m 16 in this photo. What a baby… Not anymore.. Gonna be 32 in 2 days.