http://ketchupeffect.com/ketchupeffect.wmv

i met Robo a few months ago.. He was the drummer in black flag and the misfits for a time.. It was cool to meet him.

My friend scott sends me the best shit sometimes.. This was my bday card from him.

according to http://www.myheritage.com/ the celeb i most look like is Johnny Depp.. haha!

This is kinda cool

Heres my stats

57 years 3 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89

52 years 7 months younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84

49 years 8 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81

42 years 5 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74

40 years 3 months younger than Larry King, age 72

34 years 0 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 66

30 years 7 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 62

27 years 7 months younger than George W. Bush, age 59

22 years 7 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54

18 years 4 months younger than Bill Gates, age 50

13 years 6 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45

7 years 7 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 39

3 years 7 months younger than Jennifer Lopez, age 35

1 year 11 months older than Tiger Woods, age 30

8 years 4 months older than Prince William, age 23

and that you were:

27 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America

25 years old on the first day of Y2K

23 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash

21 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing

20 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder

19 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center

16 years old when Operation Desert Storm began

15 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall

11 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded

9 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh

9 years old during Sally Ride’s travel in space

7 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.

5 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began

2 years old on the U.S.’s bicentennial Fourth of July

not yet 1 year old when President Nixon left office

So Sheryl Crow had breast cancer… her ex boyfriend had testicle cancer… Am i the only person that sees this?

I bet she got it from him titty fucking her?

On a side note Mr. Ferley from Threes Company died. Fucking people dying left and right.

how exactly is beating the crap out of 12 year old kids stopping terrorism. I got a feeling when these kids grow up they are NOT gonna be fans of us and the british government.

http://www.break.com/index/britishiraq12.html

I saw a lesbian buying a douche at safeway the other day… It cracked me up. Maybe i don’t know much about women’s privates. But i thought Douches were for cleaning cum out of your vagina. I’ve been told since that that’s not the case. Oh well it was funny for a little while anyway.

When i was in cali last week i went to murr woods. It’s a beautiful national park across the golden gate bridge in SF.

While in the park i looked down and saw a porno DVD laying next to a plastic bag. In the bag were 5 more porn DVDs and a used tissue. The used tissue actually almost made me puke but it was to fucken funny for me to find porn in the woods again at the age of 31.

For a better understanding of why this is funny look for my story in Terrible One zine 8. It will make a lot more sense.

Some drunks kicked over my garbage can tonight. I ran outside in my socks and boxers (what else) to see what was going on. I ran down to the street and saw the can laying on it’s side. I looked and about 1/2 a block away were 4 people.

I grabbed the can and sprinted uphill towards them. When i was close enough i threw the can and hit this guy in the back. He turned around and i said “What the fuck are you thinking kicking over my garbage cans?” Then i realized maybe 2 drunk guys could beat me up seeing as i was only wearing socks and had just run uphill with a garbage can.

The guy backed down and said he didn’t do it even though i would think if he actually hadn’t he would have fussed more about me hitting him with a garbage can in the back.

My friend Lena sent me an old photo she had of me. I think I’m 16 in this photo. What a baby… Not anymore.. Gonna be 32 in 2 days.