Jamie McParland

Exactly!

jamiemcparland — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:51:53 +0000

Sometimes

jamiemcparland — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:14:29 +0000

Washing your hair just feels awesome!

Tip to new smokers

jamiemcparland — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:11:10 +0000

Becareful where you spit. If you spit on your cigarette it ruins it. Don’t bother trying to keep smoking it.

Fuck this getting fat shit.

jamiemcparland — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 05:26:04 +0000

Jen has made me totally fat. So i’m trying to loose some weight, despite her enabling and constant giving me junk food. She makes me smoke a ton as well. She is a bad influnce. She’s like the kid with fire crackers! then she narks on you.

Don’t let her fool you with that vegan stuff. It’s a ruse.

Anyways check my weight loss progress is you care. Sign up yourself

http://www.livestrong.com/profile/jamiemcparland/

Since the election is over

jamiemcparland — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 10:06:04 +0000

I thought i’d post some of my favorite pics. I love the one of my man smoking!

One is true one is not

jamiemcparland — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 10:01:35 +0000

The one about IT isn’t correct although i found it funny anyways.

Man i’m tired of my dreams..

jamiemcparland — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:49:38 +0000

Every night with the nightmares. Fucking sucks! Tonight i dreamed i had neck surgery and they cut my entire throat out. I think they may have cut off some other body parts as well.

Anyways they turned me into Darth Vader! I got this crazy outfit and was in charge of some group of people. I remember the guy who was the head hancho wanted me to act all mean and tough in my darth vader outfit.

I was feeling so crummy from the surgery that i didn’t really feel like being a tough guy.

——–

Earlier in my dream, something about me having a toddler kid and chasing after him as he zoomed away out of control on a 4 wheeler.

Then i was helping this girl that Jen knows fix some stand. But it was with REALLY small parts, we had to dig around in the carpet to find all the screws. I remember Ice Cube the rapper was there. He was arguing with the girls boyfriend. Right about then an earthquake happened. Jen kept yelling from the other room for me to call NetFlix and find out why her sister couldn’t sign up.

The earthquake was weird.. Instead of shaking the buildings it made the spin around. I remember thinking that it was cool that they might get a new “View” instead of looking west it could be south when they look out their window.

Right about then these giant rabbits showed up. They looked more like animatronics rabbits.. like costumed people. There was 2 of them. A pretty white one with make up on and a gross brown one.

They would just run up and push on me, it was pissing me off, so i would push back. Then they would get rougher. So i punched the one in the face. Turns out when you punch the rabbits they have a baby… Except the baby is full sized, and they start fucking attacking you to! So the more i punched the more rabbits cams to attack. Ice cube came to my aid but didn’t help much.

I think this is when my throat got torn out and then they made me into darth vader talked about above.

I have dreams like this every fucking night. I’m so tired of them, i wake up exhausted. Fighting animatronic robot rabbits and then becoming darth vader is not easy.

Thank god i’m awake… I’m going to have a smoke.

This is why i love Oregon!

jamiemcparland — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 23:13:10 +0000

http://www.kgw.com/news-local/stories/kgw_110608_news_transgender_mayor.18a1f2fa7.html?ocp=5#slcgm_comments_anchor

These people are in line

jamiemcparland — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 08:31:39 +0000

Waiting to get your fourth meal haha

This kid is awesome!

jamiemcparland — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 16:03:49 +0000

I got my first facial and it was not cool!

jamiemcparland — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:25:19 +0000

So I’m washing one of my dogs the other day. He needs his anal glands squeezed. I haven’t done it on awhile. It’s super fucking stinky and nasty. So I’m squeezing his butt hole and all the sudden a bunch of hot brown juice hits me in the face! What a drag.

Not what i wanted to see in the bathroom today

jamiemcparland — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 06:02:15 +0000

Yuck!

Gotta love the cops..

jamiemcparland — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:22:17 +0000

Here’s some video of cops cutting up homeless peoples tents… Fuckers!

haha

jamiemcparland — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:09:26 +0000

Just incase anyone was wondering

jamiemcparland — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:38:28 +0000

Why i think prince is one of the most underated guitar players ever. His solo starts at about 3:30. Fucking amazing!

Fucking guys!

jamiemcparland — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:13:23 +0000

So i keep getting email from these 2 guys i know running for president and VP. It’s getting annoying. So i thought i’d bust their balls a bit by posting a reply to one of their emails on my blog.

—————-

Dang Joe,

I just sent you $20.00 like 4 days ago. I talked to Jen and she said she gave you a few bucks like a monthago! What the hell did you do with that? Blow it at a strip club? Are you guys mixed up in drugs or some shit? Jeeze.

Listen, i know you and Barack wanna be friends with me but i can only keep up with so many emails ya know? You need to chill on that shit..

Speaking of which, between you and me Michelle has been sending me some emails as well. They are all pretty harmless but i don’t need Barack getting the wrong idea. I don’t think she’s trying to get saucy with me, but it’s weird she’s emailing me so much right? You might want to tell her to chill, and that i got a girlfriend.

Between me and you though man.. i’d totally hit that if i was single and she wasn’t hooked up with Barack. haha!

OK mang.. I need to get back to work. But dude.. you and your homie Barack need to chill on the emails. ok?

And stop asking me for fucking money! You 2 guys are the only assholes i’m loaning money 2 and i’m starting to regret it.

Later. – Jamie

Wow

jamiemcparland — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 23:54:15 +0000

it never ceases to amaze me how long people will talk at me when i obviously have no clue or care at all what they are saying.

Usually when this happens i day dream about what i could be thinking about to somehow make that time more productive. I haven’t quite worked that out yet. Maybe i could do multiplication in my head. Some kind of holy shit shut up flash card game.

It would be great if the people would get shocked… So the more bored i got with their conversation the worse the shock would get.

I think the problem is if someone talked to me about college sports or hunting they would get knocked unconscious by the shock.

Whoops

jamiemcparland — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 02:46:32 +0000

Today I was driving to work. I coughed and hocked a lugie. So I did what anyone would do… I spit it out the window.

I just happened to look in my rear view mirror only to see a guy on a motorcycle recoil… I think I might of hit him…

Don’t blame me.. It’s joe camels fault buddy

Screenprinting

jamiemcparland — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:08:29 +0000

Not sure if I mentioned this in my blog but I started a new screen printing shop. It’s called blood and ink printing.
So if you or someone you know needs quality hand printed shirts drop me a line or check out the site.

Www.bloodandinkprinting.com

More iphone goodies

jamiemcparland — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:20:10 +0000

I got this cool free app for my iPhone so I can update my website. Who knows if I will actually write more but maybe.
I’m off to Seattle in the morning to Goto a screenprinting seminar woohoo!

I broke down and added twitter

jamiemcparland — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:06:54 +0000

Ok well i finally started using my twitter account. So it’s posting on the side bar of my website. I update it with the stupid stuff I’m up to in my day to day whatever.

We have a show on thursday at the tonic. I haven’t sung in about a month. Also i’ve been feeling under the weather so I’m sure this will be more of a train wreck than the last show we played… i should really pickup my guitar and practice.. but i probably won’t

This screenprinting shit is getting serious!

jamiemcparland — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:27:52 +0000

Well we put all our pennies together and bought a dryer. It’s pretty awesome and we should be picking it up next tuesday or wed.

Heres a pic of the dryer we’re getting

We did a bunch of shirts for Duff from guns and roses and have another order for his new band in the que. Pretty cool.

What a day

jamiemcparland — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:22:18 +0000

I applied for the tech super position at my work. I thought the interview went really well. Hopefully i’ll get the job.
I even wore a tie! I’ll post some pics soon.
My dog had an allergic reaction and we spent most of the night at the vet.. fun fun!

I guess if your a comedian i like then you die

jamiemcparland — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:02:00 +0000

Fucking hell! George Carlin died. The guy that brought me my favorite words.

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits!

Brilliant! He was so great in bill and teds… Not to mention as the hitchhiker in that Kevin Smith movie. I think George was know and one of the best and it’s good that he got the respect he deserved.

Colin Quinn
Doug Stanhope
Chris Rock
Dave Attel
Louie CK

You’ve been warned.. These guys are on death watch because they are my favorites. Shit even Louie Anderson, Gallagher and Bill Cosby who were my child hood heros should watch their step.

Thanks for the laughs

jamiemcparland — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 08:25:34 +0000

Harvey Korman died last week. I remember being a little boy and sneaking out of my room, and standing in the hallway to watch the Carol Burnett show.

He and Tim Conway cracked me up at 7 years old. At 16 when I saw Blazing Saddles his humor still got me.

I’m sad to see him go. Thanks for the laughs Mr. Korman

Oh yea.. this kinda shit happens to me all the time

jamiemcparland — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:11:56 +0000

http://www.clipaday.com/videos/office-faceplant-knockout

I would totally win this!

jamiemcparland — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 10:25:48 +0000

The picture next to the article has nothing to do with the story.. But it’s pretty funny that it’s next to it.

To bad it’s not like this anymore

jamiemcparland — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 10:23:25 +0000

awesome

jamiemcparland — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:40:48 +0000

There is an island called Lesbos.
So are the people from it called lesbians?

Just posting some pics.. Here’s me and the Champ!

jamiemcparland — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:30:06 +0000

The Iron Sheik!

My newest guitar

jamiemcparland — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:28:30 +0000

It’s a 1991 Les Paul Custom Custom Shop.

Bat at my work

jamiemcparland — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:25:20 +0000

Thing scared the crap out of me one night!

goodmorning

jamiemcparland — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:23:10 +0000

it’s time to get up and goto work!

in the past 24 hours

jamiemcparland — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 01:47:55 +0000

I stubed my toes really bad and broke one of them. I burned my arm on an iron. I fell off a curb and landed chest first in the street…. And I managed to spit on this nice shirt I’m wearing!

good day

jamiemcparland — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:36:17 +0000

Every day that my car doesn’t get broken into is a good day!

3 amigos

jamiemcparland — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 04:56:25 +0000

The other day i was driving home from work and i saw a guy driving the same car as me. Same year, same model, same color… Then i looked ahead and same thing. It was really weird.

So the 3 of us we’re hauling ass down the road. I felt like we we’re tie fighters in formation.. Man that’s nerdy.

Man I’m tired

jamiemcparland — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 10:28:23 +0000

Busy busy busy… The crawlers are my favorite band in Portland. Their drummer quit and they had a recording session booked to record their 7 inch.

They asked me to play on the record. I said yes and after a month of playing we recorded and were all done. The record sounds great.

Check myspace for the crawlers and you can hear m on the drums.

I’ll be flying to California in earn July to play a few dates with the crawlers. Should be fun.

also

jamiemcparland — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:10:52 +0000

I’m feeling sick today. I love the word “verbage” but I really hate the phrase “the fact of the matter” also I hate “wake up call” haha!

posting from the iphone

jamiemcparland — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 03:07:54 +0000

thought I’d give it a shot. My new guitar got here today and my new custom amp has made it to the usa from Asia. I’m pretty excited. I’ll post some pic soon!!

yep

jamiemcparland — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:52:03 +0000